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"People think I'm disciplined. It is not discipline. It
is devotion. There is a great difference." Luciano Pavarotti
From my perspective the key is to take your lead from the heart of happiness within as to what matters to you; in the moment and in the medium and long term sense of your life. This takes a profound internal listening and a willingness to bring the light of your awareness to what is really going on both in your internal world and your external world so that your life like the proverbial lilies of the fields can fully blossom. And it takes a willingness to admit to the areas of unhappiness in your life, particularly the ones that bug you the most, so you can do something about them.
The Seven Keys:
Note: these may sound like simple steps and indeed they are but they are not neccessarily easy. The process of truly listening to who you are and what you want and of putting your mind, emotion and physical energy into the creating of the life that you truly want is the greatest self growth programme available to you. There may be some "long dark nights of the soul" ahead of you where all the thoughts and feelings that are keeping you from the life you want come to the surface for you. Your work is to work through them so you can live beyond them, no longer at their effect.
Have
you ever been having a bad day and found yourself asking yourself a question
like …why do I always make a
mess of things? Or… why
can’t I listen to myself better? Or…
why am I so stupid? You
may recognise some of these and I’m sure you know that the feeling and mental
state they lead to absolutely do not help you to take effective action to deal
with whatever situation you are facing.
Just
for your own awareness take out a sheet of paper and write down your own
personal brand of questions that you whip yourself with in “those moments”.
The point of writing them down is to become aware of them so that when
you next hear yourself thinking them you can say, “Oh, I’m asking myself
those questions again, time to stop and ask some better ones?” Our
minds are such an incredible resource for all sorts of creative & supportive
ideas and helpful mental-emotional states if you open them with the right key.
And the key to open that door is the questions you ask yourself.
So learn to ask questions that open the door rather than one that locks
it up. What question would you be best to ask in any given situation? That’s a good question! So the next time you hear yourself ask one of “those” questions try another tack with a question like this: what would be a better question for me to ask myself right now that would help me connect with source? And then pay attention to the question that arises in response to your asking and the thoughts, feelings & inspirations that evolve from that question. Then go ahead and act on it. See what results you get and adjust as necessary.
The key is really to be present with yourself and with what is going on inside you and to communicate that effectively to the people around you so that life can move through whatever unhappiness is happening and regain its sweetness, if you are upset, or to deepen and expand the sweetness if it already is so. I recommend going back to basics for this one and one of the books I have found very helpful for learning how to communicate is “How to talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk.” By Adelle Faber and Elaine Mazlish. For me it’s about relearning what I didn’t learn as a kid and if you’ve got kids I’d consider it essential reading! You could also easily rewrite the title to "Learning to listen so others will talk and learning to talk so others will listen."
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